Well I'll be...lol

So I was like so ambitious to be diligent and disciplined last night and I so didn't do anything today lol.  I hung out with my friend, dropped my sis's book off, cleaned my room and did my hair but the most important task did  not get done.  I am supposed to be volunteering at a youth center but yet I still didn't get the paperwork mailed yet : (.  I think ive been distracted by the world's glitz and glam that I haven't really been focused on what I need to do and what I stand for.  As I meditated with God today I realized that I haven't been trusting Him to lead me to the right direction.  I've been indifferent about life these days because I sort of gave up.  What are my dreams? What do I want to do with my life?  Why do I feel like assimilating rather than revolting?  Most importantly what is my true pigment?  Do I wait for God to show me what they are supposed to be or do I find these answers in my heart? I learned today that God has to have the final authority in my life, that he is the judge of what is good and bad.  I have to allow HIM to manifest in my life...why is this so hard to do?