Wow its been a min!

Wow I totally stopped blogging for reasons unknown but I read over all of my blogs and a weird thing happened -I ministered to myself lol!!  As I was reading the lessons I learned in April those same scriptures encouraged me again.  So much has happened that I may have lost focus as to what is important in life and what I stood up for.

Re-Cap of Summer 2010:

-I graduated in May with a Bachelor's degree!!!
-My family actually worked together to throw me a surprise grad party with a couple of my friends ^-^
-My grad party was def a catalyst of family bonding and my parents and I have loving open and honest relationships not only as daughter-parent but as woman to (wo)man
-I co-planned a surprise b-day party for my sister (the first one she ever had in her life.... but of course I accidentally  ruined the surprise by sending a mass text lol)
-I was reunited with my cousin I haven't seen in 4 years and we had a blast!
-Still don't have a "real" job so I had two jobs at the mall but I quit one just because the manager sucked lol
-Cut all ties with my ex-boyfriend of 5 years even though I love him very much I pray for him daily
- Spent my summer with a crush/friend which allowed us both to grow stronger in the Lord and gain a friendship even though we don't communicate often...
-Oh I graduated my spiritual gifts class at church so I can def start ministry work at my church


Soooo what am I working on now? Since I don't work often and have so much time to think,pray and read the Word, im trying to stay focused but It's been really hard.  I went through a tizzy today because I just dont want to do what the Lord wants me to do because I don't see the point of it.  I realized this way of thinking is just showing me that 1.) Im not trusting in the Lord and 2.) I'm giving up.  Sometimes I don't know what the Lord has in store for me and sometimes I have doubts that if he wants me to do anything for Him than I can't because I'm not strong or diligent enough.

I know that the Being who created this world out of nothing has the ability to do anything...I need to believe and trust Him that He can make me what I need to be for what ever reason I need to be it.  Its one thing to doubt yourself but its another thing to doubt God.  I think I was foolishly crossing the line.  God has place the book of Nehemiah in my heart last week and my paster taught from it last Sunday.  I will read a chapter a day and place my daily devotion on here : ).  As my paster said there's only two things that separate people.... discipline and diligence.  I have discipline sometimes lol but no diligence soo I have to work on that too.

Goals:

-Read a chapter out of the book of Nehemiah everyday 
-Practice diligence by completing my readings and posting my thoughts EVERYDAY and doing everything i do with EXCELLENCE!! 
- Practice discipline by going to bed early to wake up early so that i can pray, praise,read,post and walk the dog early to start my day (now this is a stretch!!!)